


Penazzled

by ageless_aislynn



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, all-dialogue ficlet, sometimes you just need to write some silly fluffy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:40:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ageless_aislynn/pseuds/ageless_aislynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Donna wake up together, having undergone a very interesting ceremony the night before... An all-dialogue ficlet, written for the lovely develish1's prompts "waking up together with no memory of the night before" and "What do you mean we're married, Spaceman?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penazzled

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the **awesome** ♥ bas_math_girl ♥ who always comes through for my Britpicking needs, no matter how poorly worded they might be! *blush* Any mistakes are definitely my own. Also, apparently, whenever it gets close to Halloween, I feel the need to write a silly bit of my beloved Ten/Donna! ;) And yes, vajazzling/penazzling is a real thing, if you're not sure. Look it up at your own risk, lol! ;)

"That was the traditional Kharlosian marriage ceremony, Donna! That ritual drink -- which, er, as it turns out, seems to have rather alcoholic properties that even Time Lords aren't completely immune from -- followed by the dancing and then the body decorating."

"The what? Everything's a bit of a blur after that fizzy drink."

"It's quite fascinating! You see, one partner's genitalia is elaborately decorated so that each point of contact leaves a mark on the other, thusly creating a painted ode to their shared... Donna, what are you doing under the sheet there?"

"Ah-hah! I knew it. There's no bloody vajazzling on my ladybits, whew!"

"Because I was actually the one who was decorated, see?"

" _Doctor!_ Cover that up. I don't want to see your... Is that glitter? And a tiny disco ball?"

"Why, yes it is. It really brings out the blue and purple swirls, don't you think?"

"So, ah, that's not its natural color, then?"

"I told you: _body decoration_ , Donna. Touch it, you can see it's just paint. Ouch!"

"I'm not going to _touch it_ , space perv! This is all nonsense, anyway. Obviously, after all of the drinking and dancing and penazzling--"

"Wasn't it 'vajazzling' just a minute ago?"

"Penazzling's for blokes. Anyway, after all that, they must've just dumped us off in here to sleep it off." 

"Er..."

"Doctor, nothing happened."

"Er..."

"Nothing happened. There's no 'painted ode' left on me from your penazzled parts. Trust me, I just looked."

"Er..."

"Doctor, you're getting another smack if you say 'er' one more time."

"Ah. Ouch! That wasn't 'er,' that was 'ah!'"

"You meant 'er' and don't even try to tell me differently. Nothing. Happened. Are you going to make me throw back this sheet and jump up completely starkers in front of you to prove the point?"

"Ahhhhroooo."

"Did you just _howl_?" 

"I was trying not to get smacked again. Ouch! _Donna_!"

"Fine. You take a good, long look, Martian boy, because this is the last time you're going to see Donna Noble in all her glory."

"Ahhhhroooo."

"Are you _trying_ for another smack, spaceman?"

"Um, no, that one actually _was_ a howl, sorry. You're very... howl-worthy, Donna."

"Oh. Ahem. Okay, then. Ah. Anyway, obviously your penazzled nethers haven't been anywhere near my-- Where are you going? Why are you crawling off the bed the other way?"

"Um, Time Lord vision is quite advanced compared to human eyesight, you know. Can see the ultraviolet spectrum and all that. However, if you turn the lamp switch to the next setting... You know what blacklight is, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Blacklight isn't visible until you turn on a special light and-- DOCTOR!!! It looks like Clapham Junction exploded all over me!"

"It's actually _verylovelyDonna_!"

"Hey, get back here, you! You've got to come out of the loo eventually, you know?"

" _It's really quite comfortable in here!_ "

"Doctor! Doctor?"

" _Yes, Donna?_

"Just how married are we, then?"

" _Ehhhhhh, just sliiiiiightly to the left of_ very."

"So I can ask you something, then? And you'll tell me truthfully?"

"Of course. You know you can ask me anything."

"And you even stopped hiding behind a door, thanks."

"I wasn't hiding, I was... appreciating the opposite side. What do you want to know?"

"What exactly is the _disco ball_ for? Isn't it in the way? And, I don't know... Scratchy?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out for sure..."

"Hey, that's kind of neat how they've gotten it to shine and cast light all around like that."

"Er."

"Doctor, haven't we covered the 'er' by now?"

"Ahem. Well, that actually _isn't_ from the penazzling."

"You mean...? So, if I ask you to light up my life, you actually _can_?"

" _I'm so glad you find this amusing, Donna!_ "

"Hey, you come out of there right this instant! You're not going to start our married life by hiding in the loo every time I eye your disco ball funny and laugh, Martian boy. Otherwise, we'll never get to lightin' up the dance floor!"

"What happened to not getting to see you in your naked glory again and all of that denial that anything happened?"

"Well, I didn't have any proof that you'd penazzled all over me at the time. I didn't want to spook you if nothing really had happened."

"So you're _sure_ you're all right with-- Mmph!"

"Yes, we're all right, Doctor. What say we get to adding a few more lines to Clapham Junction, hm?"


End file.
